You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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