did you get engaged???
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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