put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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