i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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