Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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