Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
