Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize