I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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