Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
