I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
