Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
