i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
