Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.

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  (270): Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile (270): But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird. http://tfl.nu/vi1s
  Replies (1) Good night (939) Bad night (1071)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.

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  (540): Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring. http://tfl.nu/sgce
  Replies (18) Good night (1193) Bad night (3551)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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  (616): I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night. http://tfl.nu/m0ls
  Replies (68) Good night (2203) Bad night (4028)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well

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  (917): about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well http://tfl.nu/ygjn
  Replies (14) Good night (5173) Bad night (1281)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"

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  (479): the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is" http://tfl.nu/kt8o
  Replies (11) Good night (2706) Bad night (1029)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.

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  (330): He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around. http://tfl.nu/0d7u
  Replies (4) Good night (2733) Bad night (1046)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.

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  (954): I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter. http://tfl.nu/57tz
  Replies (10) Good night (1463) Bad night (3756)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday

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  (808): some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday http://tfl.nu/capv
  Replies (1) Good night (1780) Bad night (685)
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  (858): View more from California

  I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha

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  (858): I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha http://tfl.nu/4cqn
  Replies (4) Good night (1790) Bad night (1020)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.

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  (813): Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it. http://tfl.nu/c8t4
  Replies (13) Good night (2319) Bad night (589)
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  (310): View more from California

  Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.

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  (310): Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/eqfs
  Replies (7) Good night (597) Bad night (1101)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.

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  (937): It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick. http://tfl.nu/017k
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (543)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.

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  (202): Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball. http://tfl.nu/qe48
  Replies (7) Good night (419) Bad night (853)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon

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  (919): It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon http://tfl.nu/hhjh
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (674)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.

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  (325): Then you're three pancakes deep in regret. http://tfl.nu/p50d
  Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (195)

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