I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.