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• (956): View more from Texas

  If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  it's gonna be a chat room kind of night

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.

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• (716): View more from New York

  An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...

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• (914): View more from New York

  I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip

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• (415): View more from California

  he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed

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