Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster