Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.

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  (540): I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up. (540) I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid. http://tfl.nu/obhg
  Replies (20) Good night (3910) Bad night (710)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Who did Billy Mays play for?

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  (732): Who did Billy Mays play for? http://tfl.nu/wvwr
  Replies (33) Good night (839) Bad night (4330)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs

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  (314): I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs http://tfl.nu/syr9
  Replies (12) Good night (2668) Bad night (715)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man

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  (518): Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man http://tfl.nu/kiog
  Replies (32) Good night (2622) Bad night (5066)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.

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  (315): I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before. http://tfl.nu/hqeq
  Replies (23) Good night (4698) Bad night (704)
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  (408): View more from California

  You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now

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  (408): You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now http://tfl.nu/y80h
  Replies (15) Good night (4149) Bad night (1189)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

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  (315): Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes. http://tfl.nu/lvfu
  Replies (3) Good night (2227) Bad night (1045)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?

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  (614): You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right? http://tfl.nu/6ebj
  Replies (10) Good night (3130) Bad night (1118)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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  (224): At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk http://tfl.nu/rjll
  Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (759)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1604) Bad night (854)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy

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  (519): Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy http://tfl.nu/gpr6
  Replies (6) Good night (614) Bad night (1298)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate

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  (856): Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate http://tfl.nu/thdo
  Replies (3) Good night (1169) Bad night (581)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit

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  (920): My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit http://tfl.nu/amcv
  Replies (1) Good night (1081) Bad night (501)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.

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  (479): I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me. http://tfl.nu/4b9a
  Replies (5) Good night (374) Bad night (546)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.

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  (862): This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom. http://tfl.nu/h7oi
  Replies (1) Good night (360) Bad night (520)

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