Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You were trust falling into bushes
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
