Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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