Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
