Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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