just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
