..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
