I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
