Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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