every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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