i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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