Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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