im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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