I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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