Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
