just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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