Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When are your genitals available?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
