yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
