I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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