She is in my trunk
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
