: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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