yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
