Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
