We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
