My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
