The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
