He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
