what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
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It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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