don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
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I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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