I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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