I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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