six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hippo gnu deer
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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