U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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