i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Can Purell be used as lube?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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