do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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