I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
