Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
