The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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