You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
please don't ironically join a cult
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