Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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