let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
