first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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