sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
