I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
