so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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