Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
