I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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