Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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